Lusty Mothers

There's nothing worse than dumping your girlfriend to study in a country filled with couples gawking at each other and holding hands as they push along luxury baby carriages. I can actually think of countless things that would be worse than that, not the least of which would be sticking with a girlfriend who you won't see for twice as long as you ever went out with her, all while retaining the joys of fidelity without any of the sex. But that just takes away from the poeticism of my first statement.

Anyways, Copenhagen really does make a body long for a relationship. Whereas in America, I scoff at the immature couples who's idea of intimacy is confined to nausea-inducing make out scenes and public genital fondling, I find myself enviously staring at Danish couples (which seem to compose half of the population and plague every sidewalk and train) as they whisper into each others' ears and giggle at the hilarity of my fuming jealously. They always hold hands and always look like they belong together. When I see a good looking couple in the US, I invariably fantasize myself seducing the female and leaving the a pathetic mass of rejection in my callous wake.

But here I just feel... happy for them... almost. Mostly envious, but I certainly don't imagine myself as a macho home-wrecker as much as a healthy male should. I just feel like I want a girlfriend who I can be with in public and show off how great of a boyfriend I am.

Typical Danish couple...

This place really shows off the advantages of monogamy with its god-like Scandinavian parents. I don't know how they do it, but even after giving birth two of three times, many of the mothers here still manage to look like porn stars. It probably helps that many of them marry and conceive young. I have seen mothers with multiple school-aged children who scarcely have a wrinkle on their foreheads and a body to kill for. It's winter fashion season, so puffy, body-masking, coats are what I see everyone in, and I may be giving some possibly frumpy moms too much credit. But faces say a lot about a person's bod type, and those legs don't lie!

Maybe getting a girl pregnant wouldn't be all that bad... Let's be real though, Dane's are some of the highest paid people in the world (with a minimum wage of about 20 USD/hour), so raising a kid with someone isn't as much of a death sentence (or destitute sentence) as it is in America for the plentiful bounty of knocked up jail bait. I don't want a wife for a long time, but the couples here make a strong case for marrying while you're still both young, virile, and astonishingly attractive.